> For the complete documentation index, see [llms.txt](https://cafebedouin.gitbook.io/potm/llms.txt). Markdown versions of documentation pages are available by appending `.md` to page URLs; this page is available as [Markdown](https://cafebedouin.gitbook.io/potm/section-3-boundaries-as-cognition/3-the-mullahs-gate-and-the-whispering-neighbor/interlude-the-asshole-filter.md).

# Interlude: The Asshole Filter

“If you find yourself wondering, or just feeling, “Why is everyone I wind up dealing with an asshole?” you might want to consider the possibility that you have set up an asshole filter. Asshole filters are an extremely common phenomenon, and an extremely common problem…

…An asshole filter is a situation one creates that causes non-assholes to reduce contact with you at a disproportionate rate (like at all) than assholes.

The simplest way to do this is to ask politely.

An asshole filter happens when you publicly promulgate a straitened contact boundary and then don’t enforce it; or worse, *reward* the people who transgress it.”

*-siderea, “*[*The Asshole Filter.*](https://siderea.dreamwidth.org/1209794.html)*” siderea.dreamwidth.org. September 15, 2015*